Ways to Remember: Creative Rituals for Honouring Our Dead

As the days shorten and the year begins its quiet turn toward winter, we are invited to slow down and look inward. The ancient festival of Samhain marks this time as one of remembrance; when the veil between the living and the dead is said to be thin, and we pause to honour those who came before us.

This season offers us a tender opportunity to acknowledge the love, loss and lineage that shape who we are. Whether we remember ancestors from generations past, loved ones whose presence still lingers in our hearts or beloved pets who brought joy to our days, ritual can offer a meaningful way to connect, to pause, to give thanks for what was and to carry their memory forward with care.

The Power of Remembering Together

At our upcoming Samhain Community Gathering, we’ll be creating a shared remembrance altar; a space built collaboratively, each of us contributing something that represents those we wish to honour. It might be a photo, a flower, a candle, a small object, or even a written note or drawing. The altar will become a living tapestry of memory, a collective act of love, vulnerability and gratitude.

In a culture that often encourages us to move on quickly from grief, coming together in this way matters deeply. I recently learned that here in the UK, on average, most employers provide 3-5 days of paid bereavement or ‘compassionate’ leave for the death of a close family member, such as a parent or spouse. It’s often less for a friend or more distant relative. Society wants to dictate who should be important enough for us to miss work for, and for how long. It’s a strange idea when you really think about it, and it’s no wonder so many of us have felt the lack of opportunity to acknowledge and express grief in daily life. Grief isn’t something that we experience for a specific amount of time, and then move on from. It’s a natural, ever-present part of the human experience, and we need to create more space for it.

Shared acts of remembrance allow us to make visible what is so often kept private. They remind us that mourning is something we can hold together. In gathering to remember together, we create a small moment of collective care, a pause from “business as usual” that reconnects us to the natural cycles of life.

Simple, Creative Ways to Remember

You don’t need to wait for a gathering to create your own rituals of remembrance. Gentle, meaningful acts can be woven into daily life, offering quiet moments of reflection and connection. Here are a few simple ideas:

1. Create a personal or shared remembrance altar
Choose a small corner of your home or garden where you can place a few meaningful items: photos, a candle, a stone collected from a favourite walk or a bloom that reminds you of your person or pet. You might add to it over time, especially during certain seasons or anniversaries. Let it be a space that feels grounding and gentle, a visible reminder that love endures beyond loss.

2. Letters we don’t send
Take some time to write to your loved one. You might share what’s been happening in your life, express gratitude for their influence, or simply say that you miss them. Writing helps us give form to feelings that can otherwise remain unspoken. You could place the letter on your altar, burn it safely as a symbolic release or bury it in the earth as an offering of remembrance.

3. Light a candle and pause
Lighting a candle can be a powerful yet simple reflective ritual. You might choose to do this at the same time each week, or on special dates like birthdays or anniversaries. As you light the flame, say their name aloud, take a few deep breaths allow yourself a moment to be fully present to feel whatever feelings may come up for you.

Ritual as an Act of Presence

Rituals of remembrance don’t have to be elaborate. What matters is the intention; the act of pausing in the midst of our busy, forward-moving lives to honour what has been. These moments remind us that grief and gratitude can coexist, and that by making space for remembrance, we also make space for healing and reconnection.

When we gather, as we will at Samhain, we strengthen the threads that bind us, not just to those who have gone before, but to one another. Remembering together is both a personal and communal act of care, a quiet affirmation that love does not end with death.

As the season turns, may we each find small, creative ways to remember and honour the stories, spirits and legacies that continue to shape our own.

💡For more resources and reading on ritual and grief, have a look at the Resource Library.