On Sunday evening we gathered at The Front Room for the second annual This Mortal Life Samhain Gathering. There was food, conversation, laughter, a little bit of reflection and, most importantly, the opportunity to spend time together remembering the people who are no longer sitting at the table with us.
Samhain is a festival of remembrance. Traditionally a time to honour the dead and acknowledge the turning of the seasons. As our ancestors prepared for winter, this time of year also offered a timely reminder of how short life can be. Today, cultures around the world continue to remember those we miss in a variety of ways. And there is something particularly powerful about doing that in the company of others.
At our Samhain Gathering, we shared stories of our experiences of loss, spoke the names of people we miss and bore witness to one another's grief. Not in a formal or solemn setting, but woven into an evening of shared food, creativity and conversation. Because remembering doesn't always need to be a ceremony. Sometimes it simply needs a table, good food and people willing to be present.
It was also a wonderfully collaborative evening. People helped set up, prepared food and stayed behind to help tidy away. A special thank you to Sarah for her incredible chocolate death cake, which was as remarkably decorated as it was delicious. And a huge shout out to Emily, Lucy and Mei for their behind-the-scenes efforts, alongside everyone who contributed to the delicious feast we shared. These things don't happen without people willing to muck in, and that's rather the point.
The case for showing up
I think we've become rather accustomed to living increasingly separate lives. We work, shop, socialise and entertain ourselves through screens. We can maintain the appearance of being connected to hundreds of people while going days without meaningful interaction with the people living around us. How many of us know and regularly interact with our neighbours, for example?
And yet, human beings are social creatures. Our sense of belonging, our ability to navigate difficult experiences and our general wellbeing are all shaped by our relationships with others. Connection isn't an optional extra, it's part of what makes life liveable.
Of course, showing up isn't always easy. Sometimes we're tired, overwhelmed or perfectly happy staying home on the sofa. But there is something to be said for making the effort. For choosing to spend an evening with real people, sharing food and conversation rather than another evening behind a screen.
We don't need to arrive as the most sociable, entertaining or energetic versions of ourselves. We don't need to perform, mask or have anything particularly interesting to say. We just need to show up as we are. That's one of the principles at the heart of This Mortal Life: creating opportunities for people to connect in their shared humanness, build relationships and find a sense of belonging.
Where community happens
There's another important part of this conversation: where does community actually happen?
Sociologists use the term 'third spaces' to describe the places outside our homes and workplaces where people can gather, socialise and develop relationships. Libraries, pubs, cafés, community centres, music venues and independent arts spaces have traditionally played an important role in providing these opportunities.
But these spaces are disappearing. Across the UK, the closure of libraries, pubs, cafés and cultural venues is shrinking the places where informal community life can flourish. We are losing more than buildings and businesses; we're losing the opportunities they provide for people to encounter one another, build relationships and feel part of something.
We cannot keep talking about loneliness, social isolation and the growing burden of poor mental health while allowing the very spaces that help address these issues to disappear. Community connection isn't a substitute for professional mental health support, but it is an important part of the wider picture of public wellbeing.
And protecting these spaces isn't just about hoping someone else will keep them open. It means using them, supporting them, bringing people into them and creating reasons for people to come together.
This is why places like The Front Room matter so much. They provide the space, but it's the people who bring them to life. Perhaps we need to spend a little less time waiting for community to find us and a little more time actively creating it.
If this resonates with you, and you share an interest in building meaningful connections, exploring some of the themes we touch on here or simply having more opportunities to spend time with people in real life, I'd love you to connect with This Mortal Life. There's room for more people around our table.
Next gathering: Finding our light at the Winter Solstice
Our next Seasonal Gathering will take place at another of my (new) favourite Weston-Super-Mare third spaces: The Random Mug, a new adults-only, alcohol-free bar and coffee shop. We'll mark the Winter Solstice with seasonal refreshments, good conversation and a creative activity exploring our hopes and intentions for the year ahead.
Rather than making another list of New Year's resolutions, we'll take part in a Winter Solstice ritual to identify the experiences we'd like to invite into our lives and map them out visually. It's a chance to pause, reflect and think about how we want to spend our precious time.
Come along for a creative alternative to the usual New Year resolutions, and another opportunity to connect with good people in good company.
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