Samhain (pronounced sow-in) marks the midpoint between the autumn equinox and winter solstice. Traditionally associated with the end of the harvest, the arrival of winter and remembrance of the dead, it’s a time of year when many people feel drawn to reflect on mortality, honour those who have died and acknowledge the changing seasons. Samhain is an opportunity to make space for remembrance, whether that's through gathering with others, creating something in memory of someone or simply taking a little time to reflect.
On 1st November, we'll be marking the occasion with our Samhain Seasonal Gathering here in North Somerset, bringing people together to share food, conversation and a little seasonal ritual. But you don't need to join a gathering to mark the festival. Whether you're able to join us, prefer to spend the day quietly at home or would rather create something entirely your own, there are plenty of ways to make space for remembrance.
Here are seven ideas to get you started.
1. Create a place for remembrance
Set aside a small space in your home where you can spend a little time remembering someone who has died. You might include a photograph, an object that belonged to them, a flower from the garden or something that reminds you of a shared experience. There's no need to make it look a particular way. This isn't about creating something worthy of display; it's about gathering a few things that help you feel connected to a person or a memory.
Spend a few minutes sitting with your chosen objects. Notice what comes up. You might feel sadness, warmth, regret, gratitude or very little at all. There's no correct emotional response to remembrance. If you need a way to shift some of the feelings that come up, consider writing them down and then burn the paper in a bowl in this space as part of an intentional ritual of acknowledging and releasing.
2. Cook something that reminds you of them
Food carries memories in a way that few other things can. Perhaps someone had a signature dish, a favourite cake or a particular way of making a cup of tea. Maybe there's a meal you associate with Sunday afternoons at their house or a recipe that has been passed down through your family. Prepare something that connects you to the person you're remembering. If you have their recipe, use it. If you don't, make your own version.
As you cook, think about the occasions when you shared that food. Who was there? What conversations took place? What small details have stayed with you? You could eat the meal alone, share it with someone who knew them or invite others to bring a dish connected to a person they miss. Remembrance doesn't have to be solemn. Sometimes, the best way to honour someone is to enjoy something they loved.
3. Write them a letter
There are things we never get to say to someone before they die. There are also things we said that we wish we'd expressed differently, questions we never asked and ordinary updates we wish we could share. Writing a letter can give you somewhere to put those thoughts.
Tell them what has happened since they died. Write about what you miss, what has changed or what you wish they could see. You might thank them for something they did, acknowledge something difficult about your relationship or simply tell them that you thought of them today. You don't need to decide what to do with the letter afterwards. Keep it, put it away, read it aloud or destroy it when you're ready. The value is in giving yourself time to articulate what you want to say, without needing a response.
4. Light a candle and tell a story
Choose someone you'd like to remember and light a candle in their honour. Then recall a story about them. It doesn't have to be their greatest achievement or a defining moment in their life. In fact, the small, ordinary stories are often the ones that tell us the most about a person. Their peculiar habits, their terrible jokes, the things they were particular about or the time they surprised everyone.
If you're marking Samhain with other people, invite each person to share a story about someone they've lost. You could set aside a few minutes for everyone to speak without interruption or simply allow the conversation to unfold naturally. When we share stories about people who have died, we help keep their lives present in our collective memory. We also discover things about them that we might never have known.
5. Spend time outdoors
Samhain arrives as the natural world prepares for winter. Leaves decay, plants retreat and the landscape changes. It's a useful reminder that endings are part of a much larger cycle, even when they feel difficult to accept. Take a walk somewhere that feels meaningful to you. You might visit a place you shared with someone who has died, walk through a local woodland or simply spend time noticing the changing season.
Collect a fallen leaf, a small stone or another natural object to represent the person you're remembering, provided it's appropriate to do so and doesn't disturb wildlife. You could keep it somewhere visible, incorporate it into a seasonal arrangement or return it to the earth when you're ready. You don't have to find a profound lesson in nature. Just being outdoors, noticing what is changing and allowing yourself to remember can be enough.
6. Make something in their memory
Creative activities offer another way to engage with remembrance, particularly when finding the right words feels difficult. Make a collage using photographs, scraps of paper and images that remind you of the person. Create a small memory book, write a poem, paint a stone or assemble a collection of objects that represent different parts of their life.
You could focus on a particular memory, a quality you admired in them or something they passed on to you. Perhaps they taught you to cook, encouraged your creativity or introduced you to a favourite place. The finished piece doesn't need to be beautiful or polished. It doesn't even need to be finished. The process itself can give you time to think about the person and what their life has meant to you.
7. Reflect on what you want to carry forward
Remembrance isn't only about looking backwards. It can also help us consider what we want to carry into the future. Think about someone who has influenced your life. What did they teach you, intentionally or otherwise? What values, skills, traditions or ways of seeing the world have you inherited from them? Is there something about their life that you'd like to preserve, or something you'd prefer not to repeat?
Write down one thing you'd like to carry forward in their memory. It might be a recipe you'll continue making, a tradition you'll adapt, a story you'll tell or a value you'll try to practise. This isn't about finding a silver lining in someone's death or feeling obliged to turn loss into something positive. It's simply an opportunity to recognise that our relationships shape us, and that some of their influence remains long after a person has died.
Marking Samhain in your own way
There is no single right way to mark Samhain, and there is no requirement to take part in a remembrance ritual at all. You might have a long list of people you want to honour, or you might be thinking about someone whose death still feels difficult to approach. Your relationship with the person who died might have been complicated. You might be remembering a friend, a chosen family member, an ex-partner, a beloved animal or someone you never had the chance to know. You can make space for any of these experiences. You can remember someone without idealising them, feel connected to them without believing in an afterlife, or choose not to participate because the timing doesn't feel right.
If you'd like to mark Samhain with other people, our Seasonal Gathering on 1st November at the Front Room Theatre, offers an opportunity to come together, share food and make space for the changing season and those we've lost. This festival of remembrance is a beautiful time to come together for some amazing food and good company.
But if joining us isn't possible, perhaps you could borrow one of these ideas to create a small ritual of your own. Set aside ten minutes, light a candle, make something, take a walk or simply sit with a memory. Samhain offers an opportunity to pause, remember and reflect. What matters isn't how you mark the occasion, but whether you give yourself a little space to acknowledge the people, relationships and experiences that have helped shape your life.
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